Lessons Learned of Late

An Ant makes a great pet for a four year old. They don’t produce stinky body secretions of any kind, at least that I can see, (how does that work exactly?) and they are easily replaced without any emotional upsets- if you catch my drift. The only problem is when your free roaming pet (who mommy let outside for a walk) is no where to be found because it just rained all night and day, and it happens to be the letter “A” show-and-tell day at preschool.

Allowing kids the opportunity to sleep in their clothes cuts down the time it takes to get them out the door for school the next morning.

Depriving myself of beloved chocolate and forcing myself to jog and lift heavy weights for many months is worth it. Wearing workout clothes two days in a row is not.

I can kick a third graders butt in a race and I'm proud of it. Ya, and he’s the fastest kid in the third grade.

The best way to cure an obstinate night owl five year old girl of going to bed after 11pm is to enroll her in morning kindergarten.

Forgetting to feed your four year old a decent lunch (a sack of lucky charms isn't it) will end up badly at about 4:30 when you refuse him a Swiss Cake Roll. I think next time I’ll just give him the cake roll.

Children’s homework is nothing more than punishment for the parents. However, 2Nd grade homework is not as bad as 1st grade homework so I feel kinda lucky.

If your daily run gets pushed back to 11pm (because your husband is gone for the evening and you are the only one getting three kids bathed and to bed which involves full body massages and 2 books each) as well as cleaning house and canning peaches that are falling off the tree in the backyard, you’ll be blogging at 1am. But your husband will think you are a super incredible, molly homemaker kinda gal and may grant passage for a girls night out soon. (Or at least forgive you for signing him up on face book-well maybe that's pushing it).

Laser Hair Removal is not for wimps. Have you ever realized how many nerves are under your armpits? If you've done LHR then you know exactly what I'm talking about. It feels like you're being electrocuted. The bikini area feels more like rubber bands striking repeatedly.